3- You Can Run and Hide, But I Am Begging You Not To

We look at Adam and Eve, attempting to hide from God, and we laugh. "How could they possibly think that God does not see them, exactly where they are?" 

Yet we do the same thing every day.

Christianity says that human beings are not inherently good, but inherently selfish and sinful. To illustrate this, think about this:

What if each morning as you woke up, a sign was placed over your head that throughout the day would show every thought that ran through your mind. Every judgmental thought upon meeting someone new, every stereotypical generalization, every lustful image and scenario, every time that you are being even slightly deceitful, every time that you are desiring to portray one image and one emotion when your thoughts contradict the words you are saying.

Do you find that desirable?  Would that do good things for your reputation and relationships?

The truth is that we very often, if not constantly, want to portray one thing with our words and expressions while our thoughts would portray something quite different. I don’t want others to see that I am weak, I don’t want others to see my immense selfishness, my pride, I don’t want them to know how many flaws make up the very foundation of who I am; so, often, I fake it. I hide who I really am behind the words and expressions that I am using to put forth the identity that I desire for the world to see me as.

Our words are who we want others to see us as, our thoughts are who we actually are.

The closer we get to people, the more willing we are to let more of our true selves show, and the more of our true selves that we discover.

When we meet new people, the conversations are very shallow, a little awkward, and not impactful to our lives at all. The closer someone is, the more impactful conversations with them have the ability to be.

I have had many conversations with my best friends, and even more with my wife, that have had a large impact on who I really am, and often leave me saying things like, “I didn’t even know that about myself.” I expose myself and often discover things about me in talking with them that I didn’t know.

Before Ariel and I got married, I expected marriage to be primarily me discovering things about her, seeing more of her flaws, and loving her anyway; however, what describes my experience thus far more accurately would be to say that I have been primarily discovering more things about myself, seeing more of my own flaws, and living in awe of the fact that she still loves me anyway.

I reveal more of myself to her, and I end up loving her so much more and realizing how special she is.

However, I still hide thoughts even from her.

Possibly my favorite quote from Keller’s book on Prayer is this:

“God is the only person from whom you can hide nothing. Before Him, you will unavoidably come to see yourself in a new unique light. Prayer, therefore, leads to a self-knowledge that is impossible to achieve any other way.”

WOW have I found that to be true!

My conversations with my wife are deep and revealing; however, with God, there is nothing deeper or more revealing. Conversations with God make the depth of your conversations with those close to you look like a dew drop compared to the Atlantic. No matter how much I love Ariel, I am still always conscious of how she will hear the things that I say and how she will feel about them, conscious of how I word things,  so I am constantly sending my thoughts through a filter to make sure that the words that come out portray what I want her to see and hear. With God, there is none of that. It is heart to heart. Created being to Creator. It is the only true direct line that you will ever experience. We cannot filter our thoughts to make sure God only hears the words that we want Him to hear, He hears it all, He knows it all. I kneel before God completely exposed, unable to hide anything; I kneel before God as the real Rene Zeringue. I cannot hide any of my foundational flaws, my evil thoughts, or my selfish ways. HERE, WITH GOD, YOU DISCOVER YOU, WHO YOU ARE, WHO GOD IS; HERE YOU WILL GAIN MORE SELF-KNOWLEDGE THAN ANYWHERE ELSE! And you will wonder how this Almighty All Knowing God still loves you anyway!

 “The heart experience of the gospel’s power can happen only through prayer.” – Keller

Those that have healthy prayer lives know this to be true: Through prayer, you will see the Gospel and God’s love for you in a way that you have never seen before, regardless of how long you have been a Christian.

Prayer will lift you up and prayer will break you, ALL because of God’s desire for your abundant life and your relationship with Him, which must go hand in hand.

“Prayer is the only entryway into genuine self-knowledge. It is also the main way we experience deep change – the reordering of our loves…. It is the way we know God, the way we finally treat God as God. Prayer is simply the key to everything we need to do and be in life. We must learn to pray. We have to.” - Keller

Grace and Peace